Dobby, Playing Cupid
by gemini1023
Summary: Ron, being the blockhead that he is, ruins an important chance for love. Fortunately, Ginny and a certain elf with a love for socks are there to help. Review this, and we'll review yours.
1. What You Know Alreadyand a Bit More

Disclaimer:  
  
Starhawk9: we do not own these characters. I wish we did, then we'd be rich.  
  
Hermione30: Yes, VERY rich.  
  
Starhawk9: Then, we could buy.lots and lots of stuff!  
  
Hermione30: Like a pool full of jell-o.  
  
Starhawk9: Or world domination!  
  
Hermione30: Unfortunately, J.K. owns the characters, so she gets all the money.  
  
Starhawk9: Oh, drat! No world domination.  
  
Hermione30: Maybe I can still get the jell-o.  
  
Starhawk9: Of course you can, now on with the story!  
  
Six Days  
  
"Oh, I can't *believe it!* Krum!? KRUM!?"  
  
I'm sprawled over the cushy armchair, a hating the world and particularly a certain bushy-haired, buck-toothed, stupid FEMALE. I am really the only one in the room, since everyone else was at the Yule Ball. In fact the only reason *I * wasn't there was because I couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
How could she? Good, respectable Hermione Granger, one of my best friends- at a dance with Viktor Krum!? Has she any school pride? Has she any *respect* for the people around her, who *just might* think something is going on!? Who just might-  
  
I had just realized what that made Ron Weasley sound like. Did it make him sound; dare I say it-jealous? Of Viktor Krum? That duck-footed, broad- shouldered-Quidditch hero, who just happened to be very rich? And now he had the gi-never mind.  
  
Okay, let's start from the beginning again, from a different point-of-view: I go into the dance with Padma on my arm. Start dancing, everything's cool, until I see Hermione. At least I *think* it's Hermione. Now she's-well, different. And there with my former favorite Quidditch player. All of the sudden he's not looking so cool. I get mad at Hermione for being there with him (I am NOT jealous!!!), and I say she shouldn't be there because it seems like she's supporting Krum instead of Harry. But she's got the better point; we're all supposed to be supporting each other. But I'm still mad because she's there looking fabulous with one of the guys-I mean, with a guy who thinks she's perfect.  
  
Oh, crap.  
  
Oh, sweet lord in heaven.  
  
I am in love with Hermione Granger.  
  
"WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?" "When did *what* happen, Ronald Webster Weasley?" I jump. It's Hermione. Oh, no, not now.  
  
"When did *you* start going out with *Vicky*?" Her cheeks flush. Oh Fizzing Whizbees-why'd I say that? I love her, don't I? I certainly do, noticing things like that.  
  
"That's none of your business, Ron! If I happen to like someone, you shouldn't go poking your large freckled nose into it, ruining dates!"  
  
"But you're supposed to be supporting Harry! Vicky is going against Harry! You're being a traitor! Isn't it obvious!? You're supposed to be SMART!!!"  
  
Remember that (beautifully rosy) flush? It's gone now. Her whole face has gone white. What have I done now?  
  
"Well at least he likes me!"  
  
What does that have to do with anything? She's flirting with the enemy!  
  
"Unlike you!"  
  
Oh.  
  
"You just asked me because you didn't want to be embarrassed in front of the school! He asked me because he knows I'm a fit girl! And you come along and try to ruin it because of some dumb CONTEST!? Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" her hair is falling out of that bun in feathery wisps. Oh, please, stop, I really want her to love me, make the yelling stop!  
  
"Oh yeah? What's that?"  
  
"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!"  
  
--  
  
She stormed away. Well, THAT went perfectly. I'm looking around like a goldfish, and not even Harry will look at me straight. Oh, well. There he goes. Good. Now I have to fix my shattered heart and my ruined life. Maybe if I grovel, Hermione will at least speak to me again.  
  
No one saw Ginny in the corner. She left early to soak her feet (one too many dances with Neville Longbottom will do that) and now she sat, shaking her head. * How thick can fourth years be? Do I have to poke *my* nose into it now-Ron can't fix this on his own.* Her head stopped shaking and slowly rose. Her eyes glittered and she (gingerly) stood up and walked away. She needed quiet to work out the details of her plan.  
  
Hermione30: BWAHAHAHA! We are EVIL!  
  
Starhawk9: Yes, and it is quite fun. Hey you! Readers! Don't you just want to kill us with wanting to know what Ginny will do? And where the heck is Dobby playing Cupid?  
  
Hermione30: Kind of looks that way. But if they do, they'll NEVER know. But if they review, they will. Cough, cough.  
  
Starhawk9: The more reviews, the quicker the chapters will come. So if you REALLY want to know, well you know, at least most of you.  
  
Hermione30: And if you really love us, you'll recommend us to others for more reviews, which, again, means more for you! 


	2. An Odd Alliance

Hermione30: Okay, YET another disclaimer.we DO NOT own these characters, get it!?   
  
Starhawk9: (slurping up some jell-o) didn't we already say that?  
  
Hermione30: HEY!!! Where did you get the jell-o!?  
  
Starhawk9: I made it.  
  
Hermione30: What flavor?  
  
Starhawk9: Wildberry, but I made it with soda.  
  
Hermione30: Oooooo.Gimme!  
  
Starhawk9: No! It's mine, my own, my prrrrrrrrrrrecious, and you can't have any.  
  
Hermione30: Wanna bet? (leaps onto Starhawk9, claws (and big, sharp, pointy teeth) bared.  
  
Starhawk9: Whoops! While I beat the heck out of this beast that used to be my best friend (over wildberry jell-o-the best kind, so it's worth killing her for.), read this next chapter!   
  
An Odd Alliance  
  
It was nearly four in the morning in the Gryffindor common room before Ginny Weasley went to bed. It took her a couple of hours hiding in the library to finally work out the details of her grand scheme, and she still had some problems. For example, she needed a Restricted book in the library, and some supplies and space that she couldn't get on her own. No matter--when you know Fred and George, you are always well connected. She thought for a minute. *Who do I know that knows the whole castle, inside and out, that can help me get what I need? He needs to be quiet enough to go anywhere, and know Ron. Now who.* "That's it! I know exactly who to see!" She stood up, gathered her papers together, and bounded away towards the kitchens.   
  
Meanwhile, down in said kitchens, Dobby was busy mixing together something very odd. It was green and had the consistency of rubber cement. Smelled like it, too. So it probably wasn't something related to his new job. Looking around nervously, he pulled a bag of sugar out of his hat, dunked it in, and started stirring as feverishly as he could, considering the thickness. He turned around to grab some peppermints out of his sock and squeaked shrilly in surprise, falling right into the thick gooey glop (or whatever it was)There was a freckled face staring back at him! It was definitely human, but, unfortunately, it was not Harry Potter, since it was also distinctly female. He scrambled out of the bowl and tried to push it away to hide it, but the stuff all over him quickly hardened, freezing him in place. The witch bent down and gently lifted him to her eye level and quietly said,  
  
"Dobby, my name is Ginny Weasley, and I'm going to need your help."   
  
About an hour later, Dobby was picking the last of the batter (for that is what it was. He was making a surprise cake for Harry Potter. But what kind of cake it was, we have no idea. We aren't sure we *want* to know.) from behind his overlarge ears, thinking over the story Ginny had just told. "So you wants Dobby to help the Weezy, miss?" "Yes, Dobby. I want you to help, err, the 'Weezy'. You may not acknowledge it, but he's pretty much a screw-up, and this time he needs us to fix it." Dobby paused for a moment, bulbous eyes misting for a moment, then turned to Ginny.  
  
"Dobby is willing to do anything to help Harry Potter or his Weezy. What is the helping, Miss that you need Dobby for?" Ginny grinned. "I'm glad you asked. See, we're going to need to make a *very* complicated potion, and first I need the recipe. It's in the forbidden section of the library, so I can't get it, and I was wondering if you could take cleaning duty there tomorrow night and get it. Plus, we're going to need a secret place to make the potion-and not in any bathroom!" Dobby had been listening very carefully sitting on the stone floor, and when Ginny was finished, his quickly hopped up and grinned.  
  
"Dobby knows a perfect place, miss! We can use the Come and Go Room, and no one will ever find us! In fact, very few even know of it!"  
  
"That's perfect! Is it big enough?"   
  
"Of course it is, miss. It is any size we will need it to be. But, miss, Dobby will not sneak into any forbidden place in Hogwarts, not even to help the Weezy!" Ginny's heart sank. "But we're going to *need* that book! It's the only thing in the school that holds that recipe!" Dobby's grin, if at all possible, grew even wider. "But we will not *need* the book to make the potion, miss! The Come and Go Room's other name is the Room of Requirement, which means it will give us whatever we will need!" "Including the book and every single ingredient! This makes it all so easy- Dobby, you're a genius! Can you show me this room now?" "Of course, miss! This way, but quickly! Tonight is Dobby's night off, miss, and Dobby wishes to finish Harry Potter's cake." Ginny leaned to see past the house-elf's very tall red hat. The green "batter" had started to develop a skin and it looked like it was trying to get out of the bowl.   
  
"You just might want to rethink that." 


	3. Cause and Effect

Starhawk9: Ow! That's my eye! Oh. Hey, get off me, they're back!  
  
Hermione30: Oh, oops.  
  
Starhawk9: Are you sane now?  
  
Hermione30: Only because all your jell-o fell out of the cup.  
  
Starhawk9: Hey! That was your fault!  
  
Hermione30: *grins* I know.  
  
Starhawk9: My jell-o!!!! WAHHHHH! I wish you would go away. You're mean and have no appreciation for other people's jell-o.  
  
*All of the sudden the Phant-ham of the Opera swoops down and is standing in front of Starhawk9.  
  
Starhawk9: Oh, no! It's a . pig in a mask  
  
Phant-ham: So what? I've come to capture you and hopefully keep you safe- from HER (said with pure loathing, aimed at Hermione30)-as my wife . forever! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Which is actually in snorts)  
  
Hermione30: But you're just a pig. And a runty one at that. How are you supposed to capture something three times your size?  
  
Phant-ham: I'll just defy the laws of physics with my porky power. He picks up Starhawk9 and carries her away with a lot of speed for someone with such short legs.*  
  
Starhawk9: Hey, help me here, I'm being captured by breakfast!  
  
Hermione30: This is bad, this is bad!!! Oh . just go read the next chappie while I go and try to DO SOMETHING!!!!  
  
Chapter 3-Cause and Effect  
  
For the next six days, people looked very oddly at Dobby and Miss "Weezy". Ginny was looking rather pale and tired, and Dobby kept falling asleep on the Gryffindor fireplace. However, this could not be avoided, as they had stayed up for several nights brewing the potion. They were lucky: the book was there, and so were several crucial and oddly specific ingredients (like a certain fly that had to be stewed for twenty-one days before it would be any good), so Ginny could finish in time. They still needed every night possible-mostly because of Dobby. He wasn't much help after showing his new friend to the Room of Requirement. In fact, he ruined several tries by trying to help, once causing a massive explosion by adding peppermint (he said it was for flavor.). Ginny banned him from touching anything after the second day.  
Somehow, Ginny still managed to finish her secret potion by day 5. She called Dobby back into the Room, and they stood looking at the disgusting mixture.  
"Ew. That stuff looks almost as disgusting as . well . er."  
  
"I know, miss. My cake. I am not a cook, miss, while you are a powerful witch, so I do not mind."  
  
"Yeah. Thanks. But it's still not finished. See this?" She pointed at the open book. "It's the only thing we can't get here without ruining everything."  
  
"Oh, miss, I can get that! Oh, joy, finally something I can do for the Weezy, miss!"  
  
"Cracking! Just get it quietly, and soon-before tomorrow. Oh, and Dobby?"  
  
"Yes, miss?"  
  
"Just . don't get it from the shower."  
  
Dobby paced joyfully up and down the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, holding a small vial. Inside the clear glass was a single hair, which he happily presented to Ginny as he opened the heavy wooden door.  
  
"Dobby, you got it! Let me see . yes! This is perfect! You want to put it in?"  
  
His bulbous eyes opened even wider, and he started to shake.  
  
"Oh, miss! That is more of a privilege than I could ever ask. Just being able to help is almost too much."  
  
"Okay, okay, Dobby, just chill. I'll do it, but I need you to calm down. I still have one more thing for you to do."  
  
"Anything, miss. Anything."  
  
Dobby and Ginny stood in front of the portrait hole, staring at the Fat Lady, who was pouting down at them. "so are you two going inside or not?"  
  
Ignoring her,. Ginny turned to Dobby and spoke.  
"So you know what to do?"  
  
"Of course, miss."  
  
"Do you have it?"  
  
In response, Dobby held up yet another vial. This one held a deep red liquid that was bubbling frantically, making his hand quiver trying to hold onto it. "I haven't let go of it since you gave it to me, miss."  
  
"Excellent. Are you ready, Dobby?"  
  
Without waiting for an answer, Ginny spoke again.  
  
" doxy rhino nuke-it!"  
  
And she walked through the portrait door. But at the last minute she stopped, peeking just her head into the common room.  
  
"Ron?"  
  
"Aw, Gin, go away, I don't feel like talking." Ron sat dejectedly in his favorite chair. Everything about him drooped, from his miserable expression to his limp carroty hair-he even looked shorter. He looked up, and his eyes were rimmed with red. "Just get what you need and leave, please."  
  
"Um, right. I'll just get a drink, then. Want one? It may help."  
  
"No, it won't. But I will have one, thanks." He slumped back down, staring into the fire. Ginny stared at him for a minute, slowly shaking her head. *Poor guy, he's been miserable since he thinks he lost her to Krum. I really hope this works, if not just to get him to move from that chair and start bathing again*. She wrinkled her nose, set her jaw and strode over to the cooler.  
Just then, Dobby stumbled through the portrait hole, his eyes bulging and glowing a brighter green with excitement. "Weezy! It's so good to see you. Is Harry around, sir?" he added, turning his head back and forth.  
  
"Nah. Just me and Ginny. What time is it?"  
  
"Very late, sir, I presume, since I am here to clea-Whoops!" Dobby had been walking across the common room has he spoke, and as he said clean he had crossed over to the open cooler and tripped over Ginny's foot. The house-elf went flying, the vial landing with a small clink. Ginny quickly swept it up and tucked it into her pocket before helping Dobby up.  
"Oh, sorry! Didn't see you there. You okay?"  
  
"Yes, miss, I'm quite all right. Just dusting-it was my fault. Now, if you'll excuse me," and with that, Dobby produced a huge purple duster and disappeared up the boy's dormitory stairs.  
  
*That was brilliant, Dobby!*  
Ginny barely nodded in his direction before she went to work. She took an old bottle of butterbeer and poured half into a nearby goblet, then drew the vial from her robes. The liquid bubbled merrily as she popped the cork and poured it in the goblet. The entire mixture fizzed for a split second, glowing red, then it settled, looking like ordinary butterbeer again. Walking across to her brother, the handed Ron the drink ("Thanks, Gin. I'll go do bed in a minute, don't worry."), took a deep, deliberate swig from the rest of the bottle, then slowly walked toward her dormitory. She desperately listened out of the corner of her ear before she started up the stairs, hoping.  
*C'mon, this has to work! Wait for it, wait for it.*  
  
And there it was.  
It was quiet at first-she almost dismissed it. Then it happened again. A faint bubbling noise, like hot wax, was churning behind her. It lasted for only a minute, coupled with an occasional moan like an injured animal, then it fell silent. The whole time she stood, stock still, facing the dormitory steps. She knew she didn't want to see what she was doing to him, but curiosity got the better now. Slowly, she tuned to see Viktor Krum on all fours in the common room.  
  
He slowly rose, hands on his gut, eyes just starting to open. He looked around a minute, panting, and moved his hands up to his face. When they were an inch away, they froze. His eyes got rounder and wider as he stared at his long fingers and huge palms, then frantically brought them up onto his face, feeling his beaky nose and longish black hair. Staring around, he finally saw Ginny staring, eyes bright.  
  
"Ginny," He croaked. "What have you done?" 


	4. The Final Hour

Hermione30: Hey, there you are! 

Starhawk9: Yeah, he sure didn't take me far. (The Phant-ham's cave is only a block away—at Farmer Brown's house) So what are you going to do save me? (Starhawk9 is presently wearing a bride's dress and a lot of rope) 

Hermione30: Oh, that. You'll see. (Phant-ham comes in) 

Phant-ham: _You! _You shall not take my bride! I'll kung-fu you to death first! *breaks a brick with his head to demonstrate his ability* 

Hermione30: Oh, yeah? Well, how're going to deal with _this? *_Pulls out a large bottle of BBQ sauce and a pork skewer, otherwise known as: "The Pork Fork"*

Phant-ham: AH! Cannibals! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away, squealing like the wittle piggy he is* 

Hermione30: I win. And he went wee-wee-wee all the way home. 

Starhawk9: Yay! You saved me! Now, could you untie me please? *wriggles a little* 

Hermione30: No. 

Starhawk9: grrrrr…. *stands up, and kicks Hermione30 in the head, since apparently, the Phant-ham doesn't know much about knots* 

Hermione30: Gee…look at all the pretty colors…*falls onto the floor, unconscious* 

Starhawk9: Okay, while I dress Hermione30 up to look like a clown, read this final chapter to the story! 

"Ginny, what have you done?"

Why was I even asking this; I already knew. I mean, how _couldn't _I know? I mean, one minute I'm just sitting in the common room crying my eyes out, drowning my memories of Hermione in butterbeer, and the next thing I know, I'm _Viktor Krum!!! _And who gave me that butterbeer, _who_!? 

But still, Ginny looked pretty terrified. She was staring at me with eyes the size of Quaffles, like what had happened even surprised her. But after a couple minutes of us staring each other down, she gulped and started to speak. 

"Okay Ron, promise you won't kill me." Her voice was quivery, but it became bolder as she continued, "I put Polyjuice Potion in your butterbeer. See—" 

"But WHY!? Of course it's Polyjuice Potion, I look like VIKTOR KRUM, FOR CRYING IN A BUCKET! But what, exactly, is the point of this madness!? WHY!?" 

Then this small, extremely high-pitched voice piped up behind me. 

"She did it to help you, sir." I wheeled around and saw a small house-elf scamper towards Ginny. __

"_Dobby?_" If possible, he looked more scared than Ginny. 

"Please, sir. Let her explain, sir. She has a plan, sir!" His green eyes were bulging as he pointed toward my sister. 

"A _plan? _Excuse me, but did I hear you right? A _plan!?_ You mean this isn't it?" 

Ginny didn't sound like she wanted to be saying this kind of thing, but she did anyway. 

"I know about you and Hermione. I mean, c'mon, don't looked so shocked, Ron. Puh_-lease. _It's the most obvious thing in the world that you're in love with her. Now she hates you because of 'Vicky', as quote my darling older brother. And since _you _are a complete blockhead when it comes to these matters, I thought I'd take your happiness into my own hands." 

"_BY TURNING ME INTO VICKY!?_" 

"Of course, Ron. As Viktor Krum, you have complete access to Hermione's thoughts and feelings, since she's willing to talk to Krum as he actually listens! C'mon, man! Use your brain and think of the possibilities!" 

That silenced me for a minute, and then it set me to thinking. _Possibilities… _

_No, no. She doesn't mean.... Does she? _I brought my—no, scratch that—_Vicky's _hand up to my—no—_Vicky's _mouth. He's got very thin lips, you know. 

Ginny smiled in satisfaction. "Yeah. That." 

"B-b-buh?" 

"Yeah, I know you don't know how to act like Vicky. We've got a little time to fix that. But we have to get to work." 

************************************************************************ 

About a half hour later, I knew more than I _ever _wanted to know about being Viktor Krum. How he walked, how he talked, how he ate, _what his shoe size was…_How on earth did Ginny learn all this!? No, wait. I don't wanna know. Then Ginny shoved me out of the common room, after telling me where I could probably find Hermione. 

Man, Ginny's confidence is infectious: I really believed this could work—up until I got to about one hundred feet away from the library. Then I started thinking again. And it was not about good things.

 _No, she still hates me. Especially after I pull this kind of stunt. She'll never talk to me again! _

I had my hand on the library door, and then I froze. 

_No. I'm not going to do this. I'm just going back to my room and cry until I get my body back. And then I'm going to cry some more._

My mind made up, I turned around and headed for the common room, but I tripped over something. 

"Ow—Dobby! What are you doing?" Dobby looked mean as raised really long, creepy fingers at me. 

"Miss thought you might do this, so she sent me. Now go in there, sir, and do it." 

I know this is sad, but I was actually afraid of a house-elf right then. Harry had told me what those fingers could do and I did _not _want to be at the wrong end of them. So, as you can guess, I went in. 

There she was, at the farthest table from the door. The sun from the window was caught in her hair, which was falling over one eye. The other eye was bright and a milky brown, shot with silvery tears, and she was scribbling something with her slim right hand. The sight made my heart leap up into my throat. It kept me from breathing normally. 

_Wow, she's fine. But why's she crying? If that Krum character's hurt her, I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!_

Hermione looked up, wiping at her eyes. Suddenly wanting to be a tear, I couldn't help but keep staring at her hand, but before my brain could get lost in that thought, she saw him.

"Viktor?" 

"WHERE!?" 

"Viktor, are you okay?" she looked puzzled 

_Oops. _

"Um, yeah. Sorry, I'm a little tired. Herm-own-ninny, you're crying."  I almost said Hermione…guess Viktor can't say it cause of his stupid accent. 

She walked toward me so she wouldn't have to shout across the library and tick off Pincer—I mean Pince. "Yeah. Yeah, I am." She stared thoughtfully at the tears on her hand,

"Do you need to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I do. Why don't come over here—" she grabbed my arm and led me over to the table she was at before. A huge tingle shot up and down my spine. 

We sat down. "Now tell me, what's wrong?" 

Those huge eyes filled up with tears again. _Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man! God, please don't let me freak out at those eyes. Why haven't I looked at them before? _

"Oh, Viktor!" she sobbed, "It's Ron. He hates me because I went to the Yule Ball with you and now we're not talking and oh, Viktor!" she fell onto my chest and let herself go. 

Now _this _was not what I was expecting. _I made her cry? _This clinched it. I had to do something, so I gently held her head in my—no—Viktor's hands and lifted it up. 

"Herm-own-ninny. It's okay, I'm here for you." 

Hermione stopped crying immediately and stared. Her eyes were huge, but not like she was scared or angry at what I said. 

This was it.

I leaned forward—she didn't move away. Closer and closer we came, until her breath was mingling with mine. Hers was nice—like cinnamon.

Our lips met, and…well, let's just put it this way—the tingling in my spine was nothing like this. Her lips were so soft, and her hands were in my hair, and soon I couldn't think about anything else . 

Until…I felt a slight bubbling sensation somewhere in the stomach region. It spread to my arms and legs, and I started to shrink.

_No. NO! not now, anytime but now…_

I kept shrinking, and I know she could feel it—she froze as the hair around her hands was sucked back into my skull, as the hand on her cheek shriveled back into being mine.

We pulled away, and her eyes opened to look at me—not Krum—me—Ron Weasley.

And then she smiled.

"You're good at that."

That completely staggered me. "Gah?"

"Yep. Gah," And she pulled me back in. 

But right before I lost myself in the making out, I saw Ginny at the door, smiling at me, with Dobby hopping and grinning at her side.

_Thank you._

And then they were gone. 


End file.
